The Absurdity Of The Official 9-11 Account

Comparable Examples of Fictional Media Reports

In a complex and well-coordinated heist, combining speed and stealth with an uncanny knowledge of automobile security systems, four tots hotwired a Toyota Land Rover and cruised along fabled Deco Drive in South Beach Miami. The merry group spent the evening crashing top night spots and easily eluding waitresses, bartenders and bouncers. Credit card receipts, obviously signed by one of the tots, showed thousands in charges for table dances, champagne and limo service. A crayon drawing left by one of the tots lent conclusive proof of their guilt, according to local law enforcement officials.

A trio of nuns broke into a North Dakota missile site in a complex and well-coordinated heist, combining speed and stealth with an uncanny knowledge of USAF security systems. The nuns quickly removed the nuclear warhead in 20 minutes from the ICBM using a crescent wrench, car jack and plastic crucifix. A nun's habit and Gideon Bible, inscribed with the name of one of the nuns, providently found at the crime scene, indicated conclusive proof of their guilt and the trio was quickly captured.

Several Saudi high school seniors commandeered the aircraft carrier USS Eisenhower yesterday in a complex and well-coordinated heist, combining speed and stealth with an uncanny knowledge of Navy security systems. The teens sailed the ship across the Pacific undetected and then down to Acapulco for a weekend of binge drinking, while picking up girls along the way. Navy officials had no prior knowledge of the plan to hijack the missing aircraft carrier, nor even knew it was missing. But officials found a charred credit card belonging to one of the thieves on the flight deck of the carrier proving, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the hijackers guilt.

Nineteen flight school dropouts, in a complex and well-coordinated heist combining speed and stealth with an uncanny knowledge of our nation's security systems, commandeered four jumbo jets and flew hundreds of miles before returning to crash the planes into pre-selected targets. A flight school instructor said the men performed badly in the simplest of flight maneuvers in small Cessna airplanes. But local law enforcement officials quickly claimed the 19 hijackers could easily have performed complex maneuvers in much larger and more complex Boeing jumbo jets. Video cameras captured the ringleaders laughing and joking and a charred passport, found at the scene of the crash indicated, beyond any reasonable doubt, the guilt of the men.